I want to extend a heart felt thank you to the couple whom this story involves, for letting me share this experience. They're amazing!
After my husband completed his medical residency two years ago, we moved to Billings, Montana where he furthered his education in a one-year sports medicine fellowship. We rented out a small two bedroom apartment and moved in with our two boys and one on the way. We began exploring the area we lived in and found that our backyard connected directly to a nature conservation area with a huge walking path and several ponds. We quickly fell in love with the place and went walking on this path almost every day during the rest of the summer.
During one of these afternoon walks with my kids, while they were playing and throwing rocks in a nearby pond, I saw another family out for a walk. As a mother, I was naturally drawn to this family because their two kids seemed to be the same ages as my own little ones. I studied the mother and watched how kind she was to her children, and I observed how happy they seemed to be around each other.
As I continued to watch this family get closer, my eyes were drawn to the face of the father whose skin was slightly different. I was well aware of the skin condition called vitiligo and it seemed to be this condition that had turned his dark skin white in spots around one of his eyes and in some of his dark hair.
Because of insecurities I've experienced in my own life and my tendency to dislike talking to people when I feel them, I wondered if this man felt insecure due to his condition. I wondered if it would make him feel uncomfortable if I approached them to introduce myself like I wanted to do. I quickly decided that I was going to leave them alone.
Only a couple moments after I made this decision, this man approached me with his wife. Together they began asking me questions about my family, how old my kids were, and how long we had lived in Billings. We soon discovered that our kids were all the same ages and we were all fairly new to the area. I discovered that both this woman and man were funny, and nice. Before separating for the evening I exchanged phone numbers with the woman, agreeing that we needed to get together so our kids could play.
I walked away that night dumbfounded at the confidence of this man. Initially, I had judged him by his physical difference, seeing him as the man with the vitiligo because that was all I knew about him. Fortunately, he was brave enough to help me see that there was more to him and his family.
I learned from this man that we don’t have to allow our differences to define us, that we can reach out and allow others to see who we truly are… on the inside just like this man allowed me to see the truth about him.
Seeing that this man lived a normal social life, regardless of a small physical difference, made me want to obtain this gift of confidence for myself. I've tried to obtain this gift... by refusing to hide when I feel insecure, and I've discovered that it's NOT easy. It can take every ounce of courage to hold my head high after a moment of embarrassment, or to continue talking to people when I know I've made mistakes that involve them. It can take almost every ounce of courage to stand and walk out into public when I feel like I look or act different.
But something else I've also discovered through this challenge, is that the courage initially needed to take those small steps of refusing to hide away, gradually turns into confidence as I realize that others can see me for who I am. This confidence in turn helps me truly believe that who I am… is good.
I'm grateful for this man's confidence that allowed him to reach out to me. It was this simple act that introduced me to his wife, who became my very best friend while living in Billings. She was my angel who helped me through the long and cold days of winter and was an incredible support and friend to me after having my third baby. She taught me so much about health and was an example to me of how I could be a better mom. If this man had not been willing to reach out to me that day, we all would have missed out on incredible friendships.
We all have the amazing ability to reach out to others, and be a light in their lives. We can uplift, strengthen, teach, and encourage others. But we can only do this if we refuse to allow our embarrassments, our mistakes, our physical differences or our insecurities to define us and prevent us from showing who we are inside…
Because who we are inside… is truly wonderful!
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