In the year 2007 I lost my father, my sister and my nephew. My depression was through the roof! I can say that death is not a friend of mine! The songs I mention below help me get through it. I play them often! It's really hard when a part of you dies with them. My husband says it has made me a different person, not a nice one! You just have to get through it! It doesn't get easier! You just have to put one foot forward! You have to remember they want you to have a good life, one that they didn't get to.

 

I remember when my sister died from diabetes and pneumonia. She was the first one to go that year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I remember thinking and saying to my brother-in-law you have got to be kidding me! She had made it through worse things. Why now? She had grandkids. She had a good husband and a good son. It's hard to think that someone you've known all your life can be gone. She was one of my first friends!

 

My dad died next that year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My dad was mean as hell some times, but I loved him and always went to him for advice! His brothers and sisters looked up to him too. So we had all lost our leader! In the song below 'Even Though I'm Leaving' by Luke Combs, it mentions that he'll always be there. I think about that a lot.

 

The next death that year was my nephew! (The boy in blue)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think it was the hardest! He died of a drug over dose! Two things hit me hard about this: why could I not have seen he needed help. My husband had warned me , I didn't want to believe him! The thing I thought about him and my sister is that they were too young. With him there is a whole lot of feelings and spiritual things I don't talk about! There were many thoughts about him. My sister's husband had a heart problems, so it was my sister and I that made the decision to unplug him! He was brain died and would have no life! Or to say not the one he would have wanted. He died minutes after being unplugged. This was my daughters best friend. He was only a year older than her. That hurt too she was in school and I had to call her for the first two deaths and tell her friend first so someone could hold her as she fell apart! That made my depression bad as well!

 

I guess the way I get through it is prayer! I actually pray that someone will tell them how much I miss them and love them. I know that today will be a hard day because remembering these things make it hurt! But if what I say can help one person then all is well! I also want people to feel they are not alone. You just have to go on and it's hard! Prayer helps. I also believe I'll see them again! I can't wait!

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I also love to listen to country music! It has songs about everything! I watch videos on YouTube that help! There is a song called Five More Minutes by Scotty McCreery that sums up how I feel. I wish I could have had five more minutes to tell these people what they mean to me.

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Lastly, I like to keep a book of sayings. One I have found recently is "One step at a time one day at a time! Just today, just this day to get through!" from the book A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park.

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I'm here to help! Or should I say listen. My email is trenamayberry@yahoo.com if you would like to reach out to me.

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The songs that go along with this are: for my sister it was a country song about flowers couldn't find it! The one about my nephew was drink a beer by Luke Bryant, I don't drink, but it fit! The one about my dad was by Luke Combs: Even though I'm leaving.

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